Do you know how hard it is to read your stupid face when the first time I see you in a week you're ordering dinner and telling me to calm down?

Do you know how annoying it is that it seems like between the two of us, I'm the one who gives more of a shit about your life?

[and how inCREDIBLY DISORIENTING THAT IS FOR SOMEONE WHO ISN'T USED TO GIVING A SHIT ABOUT EVEN HIS OWN LIFE]

I'm hungry.

[that's the wrong thing to address here.]

I don't get the point in dwelling over what happened. Can't do anything about it now. All I can do is keep going and do better. That's how I've always been, Baren. You should know.

[He was the one to help him get back that mentality, all those years ago.]

It's not an issue anymore so I'm not gonna make it one. It's as simple as that.

[guess who's going to get a pillow thrown at him

ding ding ding yup it's zoro]

Moron. Idiot. Dumbass. Fool. Stinky.

[what does the last one have to do with anything]

If you don't learn from this and keep giving me heart attacks, I'm gonna die first, you know.

[Stinky? Really? Zoro catches the pillow and sighs.]

See, now that's something I can't allow.

So get your shit together.

Or I'll get so tired of your bullshit that whatever remnants of a soul I have is going to fucking leave my body from exhaustion.

[An irritated noise.]

Not kidding, Z. Quit that shit out.

I have a plan and you're a part of it so don't fuck that up.

A plan, huh?

[He returns the pillow to the pillow as he sits down on the edge of the mattress.]

You gonna let me in on it?

What, you want to actually hear the plan part? I was just gonna tell you where to go when I needed to. Didn't think you'd care about the details.

[weird.....]

Call me curious.

[Plus it's better than Baren continuing to fret and lecture him.]

[It's a temporary peace. Baren isn't going to forget this either.

But regardless he sighs, rolls over so he's facing Zoro and uncurls, stretching out on the bed as he hums thoughtfully.]

Kiyomitsu Kashuu in Absinthe. Kit Fawkes in Brandywine. You in Cognac. Me in Daiquiri. Chuu in Ethanol.

My five that I think are worth talking to about all this bullshit - I'll believe them above the word of anyone else on the team. That's just how it is.

Maury promised me information once this bullshit's over, so I'll be waiting for that. Jojo and I get along. Chuu got some kind of other security person. Foxy got the head of security. Kiyo's been tired, so I'm not pressing him as hard as the rest of you.

A couple of other places are bringing information in. Rosalind Lutece is a professor who knows shit about alternate realities, which might be what we're looking at. Minako Arisato is a reliable girl. I like her. Your doctor is smart, can probably pick up on other medical procedures as needed.

If all these sources of information converge, that should bring enough puzzle pieces to form a mostly complete picture.... depending on the size of the puzzle.

So that should be enough to bring back all the people who disappeared, then tackling the bigger mystery of Retrospec.

[ . . . ]

I don't like Jim, but I'll entertain the rest of them. I wonder if they're lying to me...

Not that I have much choice right now.

[Talk about an information dump. Regardless Baren rambles on, rattles on before sighing and looking right back up to the ceiling.]

.... m'tired. Can we got to France yet?

Doesn't sound like much of a plan. More like you got the wrong guy for information gathering.

[He tried talking to the doc. Didn't work. Still, there's nothing wrong with what Baren's doing. If anything, he's surprised at the investment.

He lays back on the bed, hands folded on his chest.]

Je souhaite. ["I wish," according to google translate.] Think you need to find a second place for me to jump off of first. As payback.

There's fighting too but I'm wondering if it's worth throwing you out there again given that I'm pissed at you. If Samurai Jack comes back from whatever void, he's dumb and enough of a fight-hungry moron that I won't need you.

[STILL NOT OVER IT. ALSO VERY PETTY.]

I'll think about it.

"Pissed" is a weird way to say you're worried about me.

[Which is unnecessary. Zoro rolls over on his side, facing Baren.]

I liked your fish video.

[a long silence

and he reaches out to the ipad]

I'm deleting it because you don't believe I'm pissed at you.

What!? No! I like it!

[SUDDENLY SCRAMBLING TO PROTECT HIS DEAR FISH]

Well I don't like you, so.

[HE'S REACHING FOR THE DELETE BUTTON]

I'm not gonna die alright?! Leave the fish alone!

[NO!! HE'S DIVING FOR IT!! GRABBING BAREN'S HAND AND PULLING!! HE'S GOT SUPERSTRENGTH NOW HE CAN SAVE THESE FISH]

You gotta swear it or it doesn't count!

[he has two hands, zoro

he's just gonna drop the ipad on the bed and then reach for the delete button with his other hand]

[THEN HE'LL GRAB THE OTHER ONE TOO FUCK YOU!!]

Fine! I swear! I won't die!

[ . . . he had a point to this

but like]

Pinning me to the bed on the first night in your new place, Z? Forward....

[apparently he's not mad anymore]

[zoro

punches him.

and scoops the ipad up and rolls off the bed. evasive maneuvers.

anyway, he'll just sit on the floor now, back against the bed, tapping the play button on the video.]

Where is this, anyway? There's color.

[what the fuck

baren absolutely makes a pained noise at that - openly. he's not very well healed from the week and he's absolutely exhausted.

his answer might take a second longer than usual.]

... The - void place.

[guh.]

[why is he surprised he got punched. stupid.]

An unreality twist?

That.

[.... he sounds tired just thinking of it. he might be.

everything is tiring him out a bit now.]

Wish I got yours. Half my team got caught in some messed up Candyland underground.

[Though he was sure both were hellish. An oceanic hell just sounds more fun.

He glances up at Baren.]

You want me to wake you up when food comes?

What the fuck, I love Candyland.

[That's... also a lie, but he can at least pretend to think it's funny?]

Nah, I shouldn't sleep more. It'll fuck up my sleep schedule even worse. Wanna meet my new friend?

[baren never calls anyone his friend, so that's a weird thing

but also

he's just going to show Zoro the selfie he took with the octopus chef so]