[this sweater is going through a wash at this rate - but then baren's just going to roll his eyes. fucking jock. meathead. muscle for brains.

some of those insults might be muttered under his breath even as he goes to do what zoro asks. he just think he might get dunked if he says no.....

though even as he offers them out to Zoro, he also leans down so that their faces are probably uncomfortably close]

Maybe that's just the sight that I'm dying to see, you know...?

[Anyone else and Zoro would uncomfortable but Baren's done this too much for Zoro to be surprised. He takes the weights and doesn't move away, slides a hand behind Baren's head.

And pulls him into the water, laughing.

Serves him right.]

[on the one hand: yes

on the other: fuck you

Baren saw it coming the second that Zoro's hand left the water, because what fucking else would this asshole do, but he's still too close to actually dodge. He played himself.

not that it stops him from getting pulled into the water and immediately planting his feet against zoro to use him as leverage to push off (or just kick him) and backstroke away before he's stuck in a game of chicken he doesn't want to play, surfacing with an irritated noise and a hand through his hair]

Fuckin' asshole!

[hIS HAIR. HIS CLOTHES. HIS!!!!]

[The kick only makes better. Zoro stays under for a concerning amount of time before resurfacing with boisterous laughter.]

You look better like this! It suits you!

[alright that gets Baren to snort.]

Water doesn't hurt the beautiful, fuckface.

[and he shakes his hair out before hoisting himself back up to the edge of the porch - it'd be elegant if it wasn't for the fact that it comes with a drenched plopping noise]

These clothes cost a small fortune. Your next paycheck is mine.

[is he kidding

maybe he's kidding

what he's not kidding about is apparently salvaging these clothes if he can, starting with unbuttoning his shirt right then and there this ain't gay at all nope]

[it takes zoro a bit to respond on account of doing leg rises underwater. For a couple worrying minutes all Baren will be able to see are Zoro's legs and his hands strapping the ankle weights on.

When he's finally finished he resurfaces with a gasp and eyes Baren's pants skeptically.]

They're just jeans, aren't they? How much can they cost?

[He and Baren have probably seen each other naked way too much for him to care about the reasonable stripping.]

[just

a Look even as Baren moves to stand]

... sweet, sweet, naive Z...

[baren has a couple of ratty old things that he wears when he's going graffiting or otherwise has an art project (and most of those are stolen. maybe from Zoro himself) but otherwise he probably doesn't own anything within a reasonable price range]

Guess you'll find out when I steal your bucks.

[then he's shrugging off his shirt and working off his jeans even as he

turns to head back inside]

I'm borrowing your shower, musclehead. Don't pull something and drown, I'll just ignore it.

[supportive]

As if this would kill me.

[He will let Baren go, continuing his water workout well into his showertime.

Eventually that tidbit about the clothing gets the best of him and he makes his way back inside. By the time Baren gets out, Zoro will be doing leg stretches over his phone, those wet jeans hung up on the back of a chair in front of him.]

I'm not buying you these.

[baren isn't even surprised though the expression on his face just looks... sad... pitying...]

... Can't afford it, huh? Work's been that slow...

[unfortunate.

though when he's getting dressed he's also. ignoring his designated drawer. guess who's borrowing zoro's clothes it's baren, but there's a method to the madness. probably.]

Stunt double usually means I have to double as the actor.

[Hard to do that with one eye. So yeah, work's been slow. His life has stalled. Thanks for the reminder, jerk.

It's Baren's lack of attention to his designated drawer that makes Zoro suspicious. And when he turns around--lo and behold.]

None of that fits you.

[Take it off.]

[You're welcome.]

That's why I've been pitching the MMA fighting idea. I'll be your manager. What could go wrong?

[Everything.

Anyway, he's not listening??? Just gonna find a hoodie and thrown the hood up over his ponytail - his feathers and hair bells are probably lying around somewhere. That's already a bad sign.]

And no shit, Sherlock. Kinda the point of incognito to not look like myself.

[wait. Zoro stops stretching.]

Don't go incognito in my clothes.

[Do not make one of the few shirts he likes into a jail/sex shirt.]

Too late.

[baren waves a hand]

It's fine. I won't steal anything - probably. Or destroy anything? Probably.

Just saw an empty wall off 5th Street a few days ago. Thought it could use some... color?

[so. wearing clothes that aren't his.]

Oh.

[Yeah, that's low risk enough to not care. Zoro considers the choice in shirt.]

What colors?

[it's black, calm down. he needs to blend in in the dark]

Red.

Red, yellow, orange - I also kinda wanna set something on fire

[what is impulse control]

[First you had his interest, now you have his attention.]

Why didn't you say that in the first place?

[He's coming with. Already grabbing something from the nearest drawer.

Which just so happens to be Baren's.]

[ . . . . . that was fine at first but then - ]

No.

Vetoed.

You're going to stretch out my shit, wear your own fucking clothes.

Get your grossass paws off my clothes and I'll think about waiting for you in the car.

It doesn't have sleeves!

[As if his chest isn't already stretching the tank out. What once was fashionably loose is now skintight. Also, the hem is getting a bit damp.]

[AN ACCUSATORY POINT]

It's not a muscle shirt, dickweed!! And while you're at it, get your head out of your ass - it's not a hat!

Then give me my shirt back, bastard! Switch if you're going to complain so much!

[ACCUSATORY... well. No. He's just shouting.]

Nope!! Mine has a purpose!

[and he's gonna stick his tongue out at Zoro like he's a whole 5 years old and then move to dodge right out the door]

I'm driving off!! You have 3 seconds to change and get in before I ditch you!

That's my car!

[he'll abandon his shirt if it means reaching his car first. He even buttslides over the hood to get to the driver's side first.]

I. Drive.

So what, you just want me to sit back and take a ride on your hot rod?

[that's the wrong preposition, baren

but whatever, he's laughing as he tosses zoro the keys that he probably picked up on his way out like the thief he is]

'kay.

[Wow, you can just watch that innuendo fly over his head.]

A porsche isn't a hot rod. Idiot.

[God. Stupid. Whatever. He starts the car and grins at the engine's hum. Barely even waits for Baren to close the door before stepping on the gas. They blast off, drift around a sharp corner and speed towards the main street.]

Where to?

[baren is worried for zoro and his chastity while at the same time being the no. 1 threat

anyway he doesn't really snort at the sudden take off, instead grinning along with it as he makes himself comfortable. he fiddles with the radio to something he wants to listen to and shrugs]

Keep driving for the city, I'll let you know. And once I get out, just keep the car running.

[another day, another bad idea]