[Zoro pockets the phone and readjusts the ipad in his arms.]

With how much you complain every time I forget? 'Course I did.

[Finally, he places the ipad down on the dresser. Mainly so he can lean back against it. He crosses his arms.]

You could have stayed asleep.

And you could've not almost died a thousand fucking times while I was gone for a week. We don't always get what we want.

[JUST.

SAYING.

He just woke up but that's the first thing on his mind after food. That's nice.]

[god fucking dammit. he sighs and looks up at the ceiling.]

It wasn't a thousand. [maybe like. 100.] Who the hell told you, anyway?

I watch the Retrospec post, stupid.

Someone from your team needed special water from Absinthe, another person on your team was convinced your name was Ziti and that was funny. What wasn't funny was that you were apparently in bad enough shape to need the hospital.

[He rolls over on the bed, running a hand through his hair and glances up at Zoro.]

So.

What happened to being immortal?

Shit. Really?

[Something he missed. The retrospec post is only visited when he needs something, not to review what's been done.

The annoying thing is he can't even get mad about it.]

I'm still alive, aren't I? Still immortal.

[Damn right he couldn't get mad....

Baren's still mad though.]

And you don't think that was a close call at all.

Surprise, Z, if you need to phone a friend to stay alive, that still makes you pretty fucking mortal.

[he groans.]

What's the big deal? I'm fine now. That's all that matters.

[everything that happened is too complicated to explain. that's how it feels, anyway.]

Don't give me that "what's the big deal" bullshit when it's your life, moron?! We can joke around about hell all we want but newsflash: you only get one of those! I don't have time for your self-sacrificial "I'm the tough guy so I'll protect all of you" bullshit!

[HE MIGHT BE MAD.]

I hope it was worth it, jackass!

You think I don't know? [After one near-death accident and now a second. He doesn't really feel like being lectured on the importance of living.]

I was doing what needed to be done. Mako asked me to get closer for a shot; I did. We got caught in this weird smog it let out. There's no way I'd be able to dodge it while driving.

[He hesitates before continuing. Why can't Baren just let it go?]

That fog–It's like it infected us. Mako only had some deep scratches but I had two weeks of injuries. It... reactivated all of them or something. I don't know. Just know all of a sudden it was like I was getting them all over again, all at once. Then it went away and I just...

[Collapsed. Like hell he wants to admit it. Not because of pride but because he simply isn't ready to admit he wasn't strong enough to endure it.]

It could've gone a lot worse. That's all you need to know.

Maybe consider: not getting two weeks of injuries in the first place, moron. If you needed a healer, I'd find you a healer. If you needed a breather, let someone else fight for half an hour. You always do this bullshit thing where you do everything yourself and that's just dumb! They put us on teams for a fucking reason.

[ . . . it's all hypocrisy, of course.

It's luck of the draw that Baren didn't have to deal with the same things. If he had something that reactivated his wounds, he'd be just as fucked. But admitting that would feel a little bit like.

Losing.]

What part of 'I need you to stay alive' is not penetrating that thick skull?!

It's because of my team I got those injuries! You think they gave us only fighters? I'm the one who can take the most; I'll be the one who goes out the most.

[He stops himself before he starts shouting. Watches the video of the oceanscape. Once more, it soothes him.]

You need me to stay alive. I need my team to not die. We both need the ocean back. That's what we planned, right?

[Back at the beginning of the month, when they were first fighting monsters. When all this trouble had all began.] I'm still alive, Baren.

Shut up! Get angry! You almost died however many times and you're acting like it's something you can just brush under the rug? Don't you have more zeal for life than that, asshole?

[Don't you want to cling onto this life as desperately as Baren does?]

I'm getting sick and tired of resurfacing every couple days and finding out you got your dumb ass in another mess that's bad enough that your team needs to ask for outside help.

Racing sharks and hospital calls were one thing - but can you stop trying to be cool around crazy shit like walking skeletons and zombie fogs?!

[Zoro's jaw clenches.]

You think I'm not angry?

[He's furious. With everything. With what he's remembered. With himself.]

Do you know how hard it is to read your stupid face when the first time I see you in a week you're ordering dinner and telling me to calm down?

Do you know how annoying it is that it seems like between the two of us, I'm the one who gives more of a shit about your life?

[and how inCREDIBLY DISORIENTING THAT IS FOR SOMEONE WHO ISN'T USED TO GIVING A SHIT ABOUT EVEN HIS OWN LIFE]

I'm hungry.

[that's the wrong thing to address here.]

I don't get the point in dwelling over what happened. Can't do anything about it now. All I can do is keep going and do better. That's how I've always been, Baren. You should know.

[He was the one to help him get back that mentality, all those years ago.]

It's not an issue anymore so I'm not gonna make it one. It's as simple as that.

[guess who's going to get a pillow thrown at him

ding ding ding yup it's zoro]

Moron. Idiot. Dumbass. Fool. Stinky.

[what does the last one have to do with anything]

If you don't learn from this and keep giving me heart attacks, I'm gonna die first, you know.

[Stinky? Really? Zoro catches the pillow and sighs.]

See, now that's something I can't allow.

So get your shit together.

Or I'll get so tired of your bullshit that whatever remnants of a soul I have is going to fucking leave my body from exhaustion.

[An irritated noise.]

Not kidding, Z. Quit that shit out.

I have a plan and you're a part of it so don't fuck that up.

A plan, huh?

[He returns the pillow to the pillow as he sits down on the edge of the mattress.]

You gonna let me in on it?

What, you want to actually hear the plan part? I was just gonna tell you where to go when I needed to. Didn't think you'd care about the details.

[weird.....]

Call me curious.

[Plus it's better than Baren continuing to fret and lecture him.]

[It's a temporary peace. Baren isn't going to forget this either.

But regardless he sighs, rolls over so he's facing Zoro and uncurls, stretching out on the bed as he hums thoughtfully.]

Kiyomitsu Kashuu in Absinthe. Kit Fawkes in Brandywine. You in Cognac. Me in Daiquiri. Chuu in Ethanol.

My five that I think are worth talking to about all this bullshit - I'll believe them above the word of anyone else on the team. That's just how it is.

Maury promised me information once this bullshit's over, so I'll be waiting for that. Jojo and I get along. Chuu got some kind of other security person. Foxy got the head of security. Kiyo's been tired, so I'm not pressing him as hard as the rest of you.

A couple of other places are bringing information in. Rosalind Lutece is a professor who knows shit about alternate realities, which might be what we're looking at. Minako Arisato is a reliable girl. I like her. Your doctor is smart, can probably pick up on other medical procedures as needed.

If all these sources of information converge, that should bring enough puzzle pieces to form a mostly complete picture.... depending on the size of the puzzle.

So that should be enough to bring back all the people who disappeared, then tackling the bigger mystery of Retrospec.

[ . . . ]

I don't like Jim, but I'll entertain the rest of them. I wonder if they're lying to me...

Not that I have much choice right now.

[Talk about an information dump. Regardless Baren rambles on, rattles on before sighing and looking right back up to the ceiling.]

.... m'tired. Can we got to France yet?

Doesn't sound like much of a plan. More like you got the wrong guy for information gathering.

[He tried talking to the doc. Didn't work. Still, there's nothing wrong with what Baren's doing. If anything, he's surprised at the investment.

He lays back on the bed, hands folded on his chest.]

Je souhaite. ["I wish," according to google translate.] Think you need to find a second place for me to jump off of first. As payback.

There's fighting too but I'm wondering if it's worth throwing you out there again given that I'm pissed at you. If Samurai Jack comes back from whatever void, he's dumb and enough of a fight-hungry moron that I won't need you.

[STILL NOT OVER IT. ALSO VERY PETTY.]

I'll think about it.

"Pissed" is a weird way to say you're worried about me.

[Which is unnecessary. Zoro rolls over on his side, facing Baren.]

I liked your fish video.