That's my fucking question!

[HE POINTS ANGRILY.]

This isn't a place to sleep, dipshit! Your wounds could reopen and get infected! [HE JUST ASSUMES ZORO HAS THEM] What if something bites you? Attacks you? Asshole!!

SO YOU THROW BOXES AT ME?! WHAT TYPE OF LOGIC IS THAT?!

[ow. it kind of did reopen a wound or two.]

What are you doing here anyway?! We don't need anymore rope!

[literally holding the answer to that question in your hand zoro but ok]

Proof that you can't fend off attacks out here! Moron!

[HE CAN FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE

and grumbles irritatedly even as he approaches.]

Now shut up and eat! Fucker!!

Eat...? [Oh. Now that he looks at them...] You cooked food for me?

[He opens one of the boxes. Yup. Baren Food.]

... This isn't going to be enough.

There's five of them. If you need more than that, you're gonna throw it all up.

[fact. he's also gonna go and wander over to where Zoro is now. if he finishes unwrapping everything, he'll find two sets of chopsticks

because baren already ate but also he likes to steal off zoro's plate]

You think I'm that weak?

[he doesn't even address the two chopsticks. just hands baren's over to him and spreads out the full set in front of himself.

time to dig in. he talks as he chews.]

Anyone in your group try to punch you yet?

I think that if you ended up in a pit, you probably don't know your limits.

[Baren will be a dick and definitely just swoop in to nab a piece of meat that Zoro was aiming for.

He pops it in his mouth.]

'course they have. You've met me.

[Zoro frowns at the spot the meat used to be. He goes for the fish instead.]

Stop acting like the pit was my fault.

[anyone would have thought there was a floor there.]

You punched anyone in your group yet?

Look before you leap, jackass.

[as for the question, baren shakes his head silently

though he does pause]

Well.... one shithead might deserve it, but I'd rather not give him my time of day.

What'd he do?

[And does he need to? Could be fun to punch something that wouldn't sink a flaming hook into him. He stuffs more fish into his face.]

[Baren considers it for a long moment. Yeah, he's pretty sure if anyone ever really gave him trouble or put him in danger, he could tell Zoro and it would be taken care of. It's one of the benefits of their relationship.

But - ]

Just another self-righteous cop.

Got in my way, the usual.

What's there to be self-righteous about here? Is your thing all about finding a killer or something?

[may be spitting a bit of rice there. whoops.]

[zoro's disgusting, what else is new]

One of those fuckers who are obsessed with doing things the "right way". What's the point in doing things the right way if people are dying while your head's so far up your ass?

[but he shakes his head]

Not surprised though. People like that always exist.

People in your group have died?

[holy shit.]

What? No, do you think I'd have time to cook you a bento if they did—

[Zoro shrugs.]

I dunno. Maybe they came back.

No, dipshit, I meant in general.

[And he'll take another piece of fish then just to spurn Zoro.]

Shit's dangerous now. Monsters? Robots? Dragons? You know there's gonna be some people who can't keep up.

Yeah, I've met a few. Been trying to get them to a safe places. Jim and Co. kinda messed that up, though.

[He raps Baren's knuckles the next time he tries to grab something. Also doesn't look up so Baren can't give him a hard time for what he just said.]

Couple people on my team are like that.

[How do you think he got so fucked up, Baren?]

[He's not surprised.

Between the two of them, Zoro is the more openly chivalrous one. Baren can lure monsters away and attract attention but Zoro is the one who can save people when they need to be saved. Of course he'd throw himself into the dangerous stuff to cover someone else's ass.

Baren can relate, even if he thinks Zoro's the better person for it.

Hence why he grins when he locks his chopsticks with Zoro's just to be a shit.]

Guess if we both kick it here, I'll see you in hell.

[Zoro grins back.]

I'll be fighting the devil by the time you get there.

What the fuck?

[Okay - that gets Baren to laugh.]

It's a last resort not a first choice, jackass.

Says you. Being king of hell sounds like a blast.

I was thinking you'd burn it to the ground but I guess that's kinda the point.

Sounds fun.

[who lets them be friends]

[he shrugs]

It needs a makeover.

Yeah, because you've been to hell before.

[and he's gonna go back to stealing some of zoro's food for being a smartass]